This year, I’m attending the annual conference of Prostaatlijn, an organization that gives a strong voice to men with prostate cancer and their loved ones. I’ll be speaking there about an often-underestimated but essential topic: the impact of prostate cancer on intimacy and sexuality.
For me, it’s essential to emphasize that prostate cancer doesn’t just affect the body. It also affects:
- the relationship between partners
- Desire and Pleasure
- self-image
- the quality of daily life
And we—as healthcare providers, patients, partners, and loved ones—need to be more willing to talk about this topic much more often.
Why Talk About Intimacy After Prostate Cancer?
During consultations, I regularly see men who:
- Erectile dysfunction following surgery or radiation therapy
- a change in or absence of ejaculation
- a decrease in sexual desire
- the feeling of no longer recognizing themselves in their bodies
They often tell me that they:
- have never really talked to their doctor about sexuality
- don't know what's "normal" after treatment
- are afraid of “disappointing” their partner or of no longer being “the man they used to be”
This silence weighs heavily, even though there is clear information, treatment options, and ways to adapt that can help restore a sense of intimacy, even if it is different.
What I Want to Contribute to the Prostaatlijn Conference
During my presentation, I would like to:
- putting into words what many patients experience but don't dare to say
- explain the potential effects of treatments on sexuality
- discuss existing solutions: medical, psychosexual, and relational
- Remember that intimacy isn't just about erectile performance.
In particular, I would like to revisit:
- Physical Changes After Prostate Cancer Treatment
- options to support an erection or adjust one's sexuality
- The role of the partner and communication within the couple
- The importance of asking for help without feeling ashamed
Speaking Freely: Without Taboos, but With Respect
I am convinced that the first step is to create a space where we:
- talk openly about fears, frustrations, and questions
- expressing sensitive topics in simple terms
- to know that you're not the only one experiencing these difficulties
At the Prostaatlijn conference, I would like to encourage the following:
- patients to ask their questions
- family members to voice their concerns
- healthcare providers to proactively address sexuality
Talk openly. Without taboos. Work together to find solutions.
Providing information that really helps
My goal is not to promise miracles, but to give:
- a clear explanation of what happens in the body
- Practical tips for adapting your sexuality and intimacy
- tools to help you cope better with this new reality, whether on your own or as a couple
My role as a urologist and andrologist is to provide reliable and compassionate information that truly helps men and their partners move forward after prostate cancer.
At the Prostaatlijn conference, I hope to help break the silence surrounding these issues and reiterate a simple message: sexuality and intimacy deserve just as much attention as the treatment of cancer itself.